Tuesday, January 15, 2013

Bachelor Recap: 1/14/13

For the 50% out there who could care less about the Bachelor, I promise a non-Bachelor related post later this week!

I'm providing my commentary, but I must say, the drama so far is not very compelling.  Maybe I'm coming from a different place (i.e. married) but all of the shirtless, shower, workout scenes are a bit too much and I'm kind of grossed out.  I think I held Sean to a higher standard maybe?

Anyway, here's my take on the goings on.  Most of this will probably not make sense if you didn't watch the episode.

From the previews
“This is my biggest dream come true right now.  Being on the Bachelor.”-Desiree.  Honey, you need bigger dreams.

Seriously, why do I have to watch him work out?  It’s kind of creepy.  And aren’t those the same blue shorts he wore last time?


Chris Harrison shows up to greet the ladies in a plaid shirt. 
Is there a hoe-down planned?  I think that Tierra chick falls down the stairs next week…

Sarah gets a one-on-one date.   A helicopter shows up…omg that never happens.  And of all people to act like this is rare, Kacie, come on.  You’ve been on this rodeo before.

Sean: “Last night I was with 26 women.  Today I'm happy to be with just one.”  You might want to rephrase that.

Why does Sarah keep saying she only has one arm?  Give yourself some credit, you have 1.5 arms.  But rest assured her ability to love is not found in how many hands she has.  That's a direct quote...

Why are we continually subjected to these rooftop rappelling/free-falling scenarios?  If I were her, I would want to vomit.  PS, it looks like people live on these floors, vomit would add a nice touch to the windows.  ABC must have some killer contract with this thrill-seeking company.

Oh and the touching experience of jumping off a building together…I’m sure we’re going to hear about this ‘connection’ a million times.

Sean tells her this story about being discriminated against because of her disability and people doubting her capabilities.  It meant a lot to her that Sean didn’t see her disability as prohibitive to an adventure.  They share a moment.   Sarah’s looking for fun and spontaneity in a relationship.  Picture perfect.  Sarah gets the rose.  And then Sean gets butterflies and they kiss.

Group Date Time...A Photo Shoot for Harlequin Romance Novel Covers.  I can think of about 10 things I'd rather do.  I feel like we're taking 2 steps back this season with date creativity...
 

Mimosas are flowing at 10 am in the limo...

Katie, I think your hair has all the personality that you don't.  Wowzers.

Selma is kind of a weirdo and lives in a fantasy world.

Kristy is having a photoshootgasm and it’s obnoxious.  Hey.  We get it.  You're a model...

Daniella feels amazing…that is until she sees her hair in the mirror.  I think the 'amazing' feelings she's having are chalked up to her booze consumption.  She will be referred to as 'that drunk girl' because she fulfills this role so well.

Robyn has a beef with Tierra.  Robyn thinks she’s a tacky hoe.  Her exact words.  Tierra thinks she's on top of the world.  What’s up with Tierra’s forehead?  Does she have a scar or something?  Everything she says is so scripted and ridiculous.

Poor Katie doesn't realize how much lipstick she has all over her teeth.  

Leslie's making a big impression on Sean as she undresses him in the photo shoot looking like Daisy Duke.  Diana is left to stand awkwardly to the side while they have their moment.

Kristy brought straight up sex to the shoot.  She’s a classy one.  And her enthusiasm is a little frightening.  She gets crowned the winner with the book cover deal. 

Cocktail Party Time.
Leslie steals Sean for some one-on-one time.  They go sit in a fancy room with nice furniture and a huge chandelier, IN THE DARK.  It’s weird.  Sean asks her to tell him why she’s really here right now.  And she says, I really don’t want to say it, but it’s true.  I’m here for love.  Give it up girl…you know that’s the only appropriate response to that question, don’t play dumb.  They do the awkward are we going to kiss dance and no one takes the initiative.

Then Leslie gets some liquid courage and steals him for round 2.  Then that drunk girl is babbling about Leslie and him making out and getting more time with him than everyone else.  She's not okay with it.  But her wine glass is soothing the pain.  It was painful.  I felt sorry for her.

Now Kacie B is going for some time with him.  She’s so annoying. Sean is mentally trying to make the shift out of the friend zone…Sean’s open to exploring things.

Catherine: “I’m vegan but I love the beef”.  I’m grossed out.  Sean liked the joke.

Selma loves the way he says “my wife.”  She really feels the sincerity.  She has the makings of a stage 5 clinger.

Tierra is chowing down on some grub.  Complaining.  Go figure.  The girls ask her to join the conversation and she continues to put out the death glare from the corner of the couch as she shoves food in her mouth.

Tierra tries to cover her butt for her foul mood of the day with Sean.  She complains about wanting to be there for him, but it’s distracting seeing him with other girls.  HELLO, why did you come on this show if you’re looking for a normal dating experience??

Desiree gets the final date.  Jackie (whoever you are) looks like she’s about to stab a voodoo doll.

Drunk girl is still babbling about how crazy it is for a bunch of girls to date the same guy.

There must be some humidity in the air because Katie’s hair has grown about 6 inches in the past few hours…she’s complaining to Kacie about how awkward this whole thing is and she doesn’t feel like she fits in.  Kacie seems nice to her face, but probably encouraged her to leave if she was having a hard time.  Katie’s not feeling the Zen and needs to go find her heart-center back at home. She tells Sean now's not her time and she makes a swift exit.

Kacie gets the rose for having the courage to come back for a second round of crazy.  I think this was a  pity rose.

Tierra’s pissed.  Another day goes by with her heart tattoo still open.  I hope she brought her stretchy pants.  She looks like the type that might chow down when she's angry.

Desiree gets the second One-on-One Date.
Sean stages a prank.  Harrison looks dapper in his suit and Sean's wearing flannel...

They’re at an art exhibit with “millions of dollars worth of art” and something’s going to fall and shatter and it will be made to look like Dez's fault.  Sean’s going to leave her in a room by herself so he can come and watch it all unfold behind the scenes.  Sounds like a recipe for a great date.  Not.

Harrison tells Sean to go freshen up.  Which means a purple shirt and tie.  Not bad.  Desiree is wearing the tightest black dress I’ve ever seen.  There's no room for the Holy Spirit in that thing, that's for sure.

Sean and Harr both agree this is a terrible idea, but they giggle  and continue.  Sean just says “I’m a bad person…”  Apparently this piece of crap art is the artist's response to Chernobyl?  I mean come on.

Desiree finds it very humorous that it fell.  So clearly staged…Sean comes in and says some stupid lines about how he’s going to support her and will always support her.  But today he doesn’t have to because it was a prank.  The art looked like a stuffed chicken made of stained glass, how could you think this is real?

Sean is taking her back to his place for dinner.  She asks if it’s going to burned!  Bah, bless her.  As if anyone actually lifts a finger this entire experience.

Sean and Dez ooh and ahh over the similarities of how they grew up and their parents’ marriages.  They talk about how they want to be best friends and it’s all very high school.  Especially when they get in the hot tub.  And then they start talking about what love is, and I just can’t get over the horrible sounds that are coming from the hot tub drain…

He gives her the rose after she toys with him a bit.  “He was feeling me, I was feeling him, so it only made sense to make out a little.”  Seriously...high school.

Pre-Rose Ceremony Cocktail Party
“It’s becoming more and more real.” –Catherine. Well, with as fake as it is I would like to have hope that there’s some hint of reality entering the picture.

I’m not feeling Sean’s suit at the cocktail party.  The man does not have the body type for a pencil tie.  It kind of looks like a broken leash on him…

Wedding dress girl steals him.  Lindsay tries to show there’s more to her than the weird girl who showed up in the wedding gown.  Sean tells her he’s passionate about family.  “You are?  That’s so great.”  Okay, even people with jacked up families are pro-family I would think.  I mean that’s like hating puppies or kittens.

Sean is overwhelmed by how well all of the conversations are going.  It must be exhausting.

Amanda is sitting around like a bump on a log…she seems like she’s under hypnosis and the only snap is Sean’s appearance.  I don’t know if it’s edited, but it seemed like you could throw peanuts at her face and nothing would happen.

Amanda found a coffee cup somewhere.  Maybe that will put a pep in her step.  Hope she packed some mints in her pockets.

Robyn wants to know how race/ethnicity will affect her chances.  She wants to know if he’s attracted to black females.  Sean “loves” this question.  He is down to getting jiggy with it, black, white, Cuban or Asian.  Side note, I thought I looked good in yellow, Robyn may upstage me.

Selma wants to teach Sean something in Arabic.  This should be good with his Southern accent…Selma might be better suited on the Shahs of Sunset.

Drunk girl is at it again with the white wine.  Every one is on the outs with Amanda.  Her glittering personality is not going over so well.  Her one on one time with Sean seems forced.  All the girls pick up on her split personalities.  I don’t see her making it very long…

Sarah, Kacie and Desiree already have the coveted buds.   Remaining roses go to: AshLee, Lindsay, Robyn, Jackie, Leslie M., Selma, Catherine, Kristy, Leslie H., Tierra, Taryn, Daniella, Amanda

Diana and Brooke get the boot.

1 comment:

  1. Why does Sarah keep saying she only has one arm? Give yourself some credit, you have 1.5 arms.

    My exact thoughts. Sometimes I think we have the same brain :)

    ReplyDelete