The preview is too much, ladies are dropping L-bombs, homegirl Blakely is trying to mark her territory, the model is trying to sabotage everyone else, lots of making out, and of course tears from Jenna.
Ben's walking 'my dog skip' in his mismatching blue tennies and camou green shirt. The girls are already boozing on the way to the vineyard.
They pull in with vintage Bentleys...jealous! They get a new house for the week.
Kacie B gets the first date card. "I'm one of the luckiest girls alive right now."
He pulls up in an old Jeep and old man vest, checkered gingham shirt and blazer. Kacie's rocking the booty shorts, striped sweater and knee boots. He's going to show her something near and dear to his heart. They tour the city, which took all of 2 minutes. Now they're going to take a stroll. Bored.
"What I get from Southern women is that they're very family oriented; that's a big part of their culture." Culture, really?
Kacie is feeling things rising in her she hasn't felt in a while. She has no need to front. She can be herself. They head in to a toy store and pick out lunchboxes. She gets a Kermit. Then as they're leaving she sneaks off to buy a baton.
Then she gets real serious and says she has to tell him something very serious and very embarrassing. True Life: I used to be a baton twirler. OMG, no way. Then she proceeds to twirl in the middle of the street. They stir the pot together. How cute.
They go to a quaint little place "The girl and the fig" to eat dinner. He explains that he came back to NorCal because it holds the fondest memories of his childhood and father. And that's why he came back and his mom and sis followed. She asks him what his father taught him about the man he wants to be. He says a soccer dad. She talks about how she was raised in the dirty south and he says he wants to come see.
Back at the house...Group Date Card Arrives: Brittney, Rachel, Jennifer, Blakely, Emily, Jenna, Shawn, Monica, Samantha, Jamie, Nicki, and Jaclyn. "Come play with me. Ben"
Blakely: "The girls are getting excited about going on a date with the other girls basically. I'm not here to go on a date with the other girls, I'm here to go on a date with Ben." Are you sure? You and Monica seemed like you wanted to have some alone time last week...
Ben gives Kacie the rose. Having her there reaffirms why he decided to do this again. Hope. He can trust her he says and can share special things with her. How do you know this on one date? And when you're about to go on a date with 12 other people the next day.
He has one more trick up his sleeve. He takes her to a theater where we're treated to a montage of home videos of her and her father. Her and her twirling days. She just laughs and soaks it in...I would be like, what?? Where did you get this? And be in shock and awe...I guess these girls are just immune. They expect helicopters.
Then we get to see Ben's early days and his lack of clothing. We get to see Ben watch videos of when his dad was alive and we're all a bit sentimental. This was actually one of the more genuine, honest dates I've seen on this show in a LONG time...I don't know what to say...I expect hot tubs not real emotions. Ah, but the stirring macaroni brings me back.
Next day, Ben is amped for his group date. He's chinos are ironed and his Gap favorite tee is a dashing shade of Navy. Blakely says her name is all over this date rose and her girls are out.to.play in her romper.
Ben's hired the best playwrights in all the land and they're going to be performing a play. Monica's inner actress and improv is coming out. All the girls have high expectations and show up to a group of 10 year olds who wrote the play...crickets. And they must audition.
Jennifer is up first. They ask her to act like a weasel. She makes the most terrible noise ever. Then all the other girls up on stage and act out all sorts of weird stuff. Nicki is marveling over how great he is with the kids and says its a huge turn-on. The kids had high expectations...hilarious
Sweet little girl in the blue was totally mortified by Boobs Magee (aka) Blakely. She didn't like her very much. Everything is large with Blakely. The boobs, the earrings, and her fake teeth. Yowza.
Back at the mansion, Courtney takes her opportunity to hate on Lindzi and whether or not the first impression rose was such a big deal. She tries to say her connection with Ben was more than hers...
Courtney: "I think the horse got the First Impression Rose..." ouch.
Erika recognizes Courtney is trying to bring them down. Debbie Downer, wah wah wahhhhh....
Jenna is Merlin the Wizard. Jennifer is the weasel. We also have a princess, bunny, hippie...hot mess.
Samantha: What do you get when you mix a hooker and the gingerbread man? Blakely!
Ben invites the entire town of 25 Sonomans to see their interpretation of a fairytale story. Prince Pinot of Bachelorville. The story is horrendous and so random...but then Monica the dragon gets to blow his sheep costume off on stage and he's basically in his skivvies...I thought this was supposed to be PG?? Then the Princess talks about how this is the first time she's been attracted to a sheep...
Post-Production Party. Ben recycles the black gingham shirt from last night. The weasel gets the oscar.
Hey Blakely...just because this is a cocktail party, doesn't mean you need to be 'on duty.' Samantha feels sad for her desparity and calls her a cougar. Awesome.
Ben says Blakely seems grounded. What? He asks where her style comes from. She says she thought her outfit was cute, and being blessed in certain places...blah blah blah
Samantha goes and hides out in the bathroom. Sitting on the toilet. Blakely is getting to her...seriously, find your sash and tiara and get it together.
Back at the house, date card time. Courtney could use a one on one date like a shot in the arm. She gets the date. "Courtney, let's spin the bottle..."
Courtney: "He wants to kiss me." To Kacie: "How did that taste coming out of your mouth?"
I think this was meant to be an insult, but it's so awkwardly put I can't take it seriously.
The girl in the mesh top is super dramatic. Congrats Court, you got under our skin...
Back to the group date. Everyone's stripped to the bikinis and playing chicken. Blakely is withdrawn so she can focus and keep her eye on the prize. She's already visualized the rose and says it feels really good. See the rose, be the rose.
The weasel pulls him aside and gets all giddy. They keep talking in circles about how much fun they're having, great date, glad to be here...then stirring macaroni. She could easily be on her way to falling in love. She wasn't the leading lady today, but she's hoping she will be tonight.
Blakely is a Scorpio, which equals passionate and great lovers...she's ready for some "adult" time with Ben. She likes an audience. They have a passionate kiss in the pool and she can't even talk about it without getting 'excited'. Gross.
Jaclyn is the narrator for Ben and Blakely and talks about the quick and easy way, pun intended, to get a man's attention and the rose. Jaclyn says if Blakely gets the rose, heads will roll. Jennifer is lost because she doesn't know what to believe after spying Boobs and Ben's hard core makeout in the pool.
And the rose goes to Blakely of course, because she owned the day and the night...sorry ladies, next time you need to flaunt your assets more. Jennifer is red-faced and crushed.
Monica to Samantha: Are you mad?
Samantha: I think we're just all surprised that a candy striping hooker could be taken seriously enough to get a rose.
Easy there tiger...
Blakely understands her affect when she starts talking and everyone leaves...well that's what happens when you're annoying and gloat.
Courtney's One-on-One. She's a model for crying out loud...he's hoping that their connection is more than skin deep.
He brings his "son"
Ben's going with the gray/charcoal shade of the fav tee. Courtney, meanwhile, throws together some white jorts, a faded denim pearl snap and some cowboy boots for her date. For being a model I thought she would have more style points...I guess that's why she does print ads for K-mart probably.
Kacie still has bitter feelings about Court's comment from last night and hopes Ben sees the 'real' her sooner than later.
Court starts her date by saying he looks hot driving the Jeep. She's hoping for some wine and a smoochie...what a lush. He wants to see if she can handle the small town, because this is not LA. And seeing her walking, I'm not surprised runway is not in her future.
Ben: Can you deal with the slow lifestyle?
Court: Yes, that's what I'm hoping for.
Scotch and Ben have a 'rock and roll' howling thing going on in the trees...it was interesting.
Court brings up she hasn't been on a date in a while. She doesn't get asked out often. I don't know if she's being self-deprecating or honest. Scotch whines and Ben says he's cold and gives him a blanket. Court says he's a good dad, and they both talk about how they might want kids in the future. Is Courtney the Bentley of this season? I can't tell...she seems so normal on the date. Maybe that's her strategy. Later, she sits in his lap and he drives her around on the tractor. He has suited up and she's out in grandma's sweater. They have dinner under a tree and the stars. Ben says this is the perfect day and is wondering if its too good to be true. She starts vomiting compliments and wants to hear about him...she soo knows how to do this so well.
Ben talks about his early days and rolling in the dough and hard partying. The Bach-ette really grounded him and opened him up. Then he asks her about her dating history and why she's still available. She meets a lot of people, but she's just not in to them. She's picky. She's dated all sorts, an actor, photographer, but all come up short. "I have trust issues, I'm not going to lie." (This is pretty telling...ahem). They had an "Aha" moment. Whatever that means...she gets the rose. Macaroni. Ben is having forever thoughts.
Cocktail Party. Emotions are tense. Ben looks nice in his navy suit and skinny tie.
The girls are murmuring wondering if everyone is going to get some time with him. Court is thinking she's going to take a backseat to let the other girls shoot themselves in the foot.
Ben takes Lindzi aside since she didn't get a date. He says he didn't give her a date because he felt pretty solid with her. She was worried he wouldn't remember her name. Oh, Lindzi, of course I do, tech sales, Washington. Then they dish about how great the farm is and how she's a tractor girl. She asks if he drives a truck. He says no and she seems a little disappointed. She drives an F-350...what?! I guess its to lug all those dang horses around. I think she just stripped him of his man card...she says it's weird being there and wearing actual makeup since dirt is her usual makeup. She makes some pretty weird facial expressions. Not.attractive.
He pulls Samantha aside next since the group date didn't go so well. If anyone might shoot themselves in the foot, it's going to be this girl. She needs to mature about 5 years....
The girl in purple, no clue what her name is, decides it's a good idea to stir up the pot again about the group date and how Blakely felt getting the rose over everyone else. What? Just cause you didn't get a date doesn't mean you need to start drama.
And of course Samantha is word vomiting about how she hates drama, she's a guy's girl, blah blah blah. Just what every guy wants to hear, right? No. Blakely barges in and steals her one on one time. The girls ask Samantha how it went, and she says oh you know, jugs came in. BAH. She lets him know she's a confident woman who goes after what she wants.
Blakely decides it's a good idea to then stake out to wait until Ben's freed up after talking to another girl to grab him again. She picks a great spot sitting and drinking her wine on top of other people's luggage. This chick might have just jumped to stalker status. Honey, he's not your boyfriend.
Courtney: "It's like a war out there"...no joke.
Now Blakely is in the kitchen pouring her own wine. I think she's pretty hammered.
Ben walks up to Jenna and she looks surprised. Poor Jenna is.a.hot.mess. She can't gain control of the battle in her mind when there's drama going on and she can't gain control. Seriously, the drama really doesn't even involve her directly and she is still a crazy mess. Yikes. She throws a blanket on a lit candle and is completely oblivious...she is so awkward. She can't articulate sentences. For instance:
Jenna: If anything, I'm like really grateful you gave me another chance after the first night (nervous laugh).
Ben: yeah, me too.
Jenna: And, I mean I wanna be honest a little bit, like you know. I feel like I'm a guy in how I act and so like being around girls all the time, this is very abnormal for me. And what people say...
Ben: Awkward nod, okay...
Jenna: And I don't want you to think I'm not, because I might appear as if I'm not, I mean its hard like, because its only you, waiting around for you. And I mean its totally worth it but I'm not like a girl if that makes any sense
Ben: I appreciate that.
Appreciate what exactly? Her social awkwardness and inability to complete sentences and thoughts at the same time?? I don't know if it's the booze or what...
Jaclyn in the emerald Land of Oz dress breaks up the awkwardness and steals him. Jenna says she put herself out there and its awkward now. Yes, for once I understand what you're saying and agree 100%.
Jenna just goes and finds her room and lays in bed, crying. The girls speculate what got her so upset and decide it must be Blakely. C'mon, don't give the cocktail waitress that much credit. Kacie says that whenever anyone's around Blakely they're crying or end up crying by the end of the night. She's toxic. Meanwhile, Blakely's playing bartender while the girls just start bashing her. Saying she's only a good for a motor boat and she's not someone you'd bring home to meet your parents.
She must overhear or know they're talking bad about her because she stumbles off to go cry behind some luggage in a room. This is one big hot mess.
Ben picks up on the mood shift. L&D nurse (Jamie) says I dunno a whole bunch and talks about how this is awkward for her because she's not willing to play dirty and steal him away. Ben wants to get to the bottom of it with Brittney. He understands why Blakely's been targeted and not a fan favorite. Ben: "she probably just has a hard time communicating with the other girls." Yeah, I'm sure that's it...no mind that they think she's a high class hooker.
Ben finds her crouched awkwardly behind the suitcases and is like what the heck are you doing? Sorry, I'm just drunk and having an emo moment...he says he'll give her a moment to collect herself. Then he finds Jenna tucked in to bed crying. POOR BEN, you have entered the looney bin. Where's the on-duty therapist??
FINALLY, Harrison comes in to clink the champagne glass. Thank God. Let's get this rose ceremony on the road. The ladies clearly cannot hold their liquor.
Roses:
Jennifer
Emily
Elyse- she looks like she should be on the show Jerseylicious...
Jaclyn- the emerald disco ball
Erika-the chick in purple whose name I couldn't remember
Rachel
Lyndzi
Nicki
Casey S.-how do we know her? Oh you know, she's the Taylor Swift/Paris Hilton hybrid who was always talking to Blakely
Samantha-the guy's girl, really?
Monica-the she-man, really?
Jamie
Brittney
Poor Jenna. Pretty sure you should have used your time more wisely instead of hiding under the covers. And bye Shawn, two-tone hair is out.
Jenna: "I'm in shock" Really? When you watch this again, I don't think you will be...
Gah, it's only week 2. How am I going to survive?? Surprise, we're heading to San Fran next week...
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