*Also known as a huge waste of time...
Thanks to our mini-recap before the show even began, it's fairly obvious that Chantal has had one too many sugary cocktails this season...
"I liked the fangs." Really Brad?
"She had game. I'm a man that can be blindsided by beauty." Yeah, if you're in to psychos.
Then we had a lovely PG-13 preview of the Bachelor Pad hopefuls and cast-offs. Ashleigh is apparently the token Pad slut. Watching her and Craig makeout made me want to vom-it. Vienna lost her extensions. Roz is wearing underwear, which is good because Wes told her he wanted to look up her skirt. Apparently Vienna follows "skank rules" because she hooked up with Wes behind Gia's back. I'd like to see a copy of the said skank rules...ABC should be real proud of the Bachelor "family" it's dysfunction after dysfunction. I would like to see a dating reality series of Casey and Erika though.
Ashley H. looks terrible with brown hair and red lipstick. And she was a nasty shade of brown. Should have gone a few shades lighter in the spray tan. Bacon doesn't look good on anyone.
How many times can Marissa say "mesh" in 2 minutes? 10? 15?
Apparently Michelle DID give herself the black eye.
"Can I just say, as a host, this is a buffet." Harrison
Michelle looks concerned. Is she crying? Like for real?
Jackie was all up in her biz. Did she take some pointers from Regina George during the taping?
Ashley's crying too? What is this??
"I was here for the right reasons. I left my daughter" Even though you seem to have forgotten your daughter's name halfway through the season.
The other Michelle is cra-zy. Still can't get over the pizza story in the middle of her meltdown.
"Michelle, you were frazzled, you were frantic, and you freaked everybody out." -RaIchel.
Michelle needs to go film a lifetime movie. Is she crying so she doesn't have to answer any questions??
Chris Harrison literally blows the whistle on Stacey. Maybe my fav moment. This is getting vicious. The other girls are literally foaming at the mouth to get a piece of Michelle. I'm concerned.
"Jackie, you called me a spider!!"-Michelle. Is this really what you're worried about?!
"She was just totally aggressive, I couldn't even watch." -Jackie
Harrison: "You had a problem with it. Brad didn't have a problem with it. Is this really the problem?" Harrison-1, Jackie-0
Hayley: Why is this a therapy session?! Why are we dissecting Ashley's failure to land a boyfriend?
Harrison to the other Ashley: "It was magic. Why'd you screw it up? Is this your defense mechanism?" How many times is the good ole "defense mechanism" excuse going to be thrown around. How about just calling it what it is, she's a commitment phobe that's obsessed with herself and succeeding!!!
Side note: It really bugs me how the dentist talks with her hands all up in the camera. She can't even say the word "love"
Brad: "I promised my other half that I would only be halfway excited to see all of you." -He had to have picked Chantal. She's the only one insecure and crazy enough to say something like that...
"Who is this?" Brad to "Ash 1". That's what I'm wondering. There was a semi-cute girl in there at one point. At least she got bangs to cover her forehead.
Brad about Michelle: "I'll defend you till I'm blue in the face."-I'd like to see that actually...
Henna Preschool. Cute kids, but I kinda wanted to fast forward through this montage. Good thing I didn't because I would have missed Harrison and his ball skills.
"I'm trulier happier than I've ever been." -Oh, Brad
Harrison: "Good cause you're not getting a third chance."
America: Thank God!
Thanks to our mini-recap before the show even began, it's fairly obvious that Chantal has had one too many sugary cocktails this season...
"I liked the fangs." Really Brad?
"She had game. I'm a man that can be blindsided by beauty." Yeah, if you're in to psychos.
Then we had a lovely PG-13 preview of the Bachelor Pad hopefuls and cast-offs. Ashleigh is apparently the token Pad slut. Watching her and Craig makeout made me want to vom-it. Vienna lost her extensions. Roz is wearing underwear, which is good because Wes told her he wanted to look up her skirt. Apparently Vienna follows "skank rules" because she hooked up with Wes behind Gia's back. I'd like to see a copy of the said skank rules...ABC should be real proud of the Bachelor "family" it's dysfunction after dysfunction. I would like to see a dating reality series of Casey and Erika though.
Ashley H. looks terrible with brown hair and red lipstick. And she was a nasty shade of brown. Should have gone a few shades lighter in the spray tan. Bacon doesn't look good on anyone.
How many times can Marissa say "mesh" in 2 minutes? 10? 15?
Apparently Michelle DID give herself the black eye.
"Can I just say, as a host, this is a buffet." Harrison
Michelle looks concerned. Is she crying? Like for real?
Jackie was all up in her biz. Did she take some pointers from Regina George during the taping?
Ashley's crying too? What is this??
"I was here for the right reasons. I left my daughter" Even though you seem to have forgotten your daughter's name halfway through the season.
The other Michelle is cra-zy. Still can't get over the pizza story in the middle of her meltdown.
"Michelle, you were frazzled, you were frantic, and you freaked everybody out." -RaIchel.
Michelle needs to go film a lifetime movie. Is she crying so she doesn't have to answer any questions??
Chris Harrison literally blows the whistle on Stacey. Maybe my fav moment. This is getting vicious. The other girls are literally foaming at the mouth to get a piece of Michelle. I'm concerned.
"Jackie, you called me a spider!!"-Michelle. Is this really what you're worried about?!
"She was just totally aggressive, I couldn't even watch." -Jackie
Harrison: "You had a problem with it. Brad didn't have a problem with it. Is this really the problem?" Harrison-1, Jackie-0
Hayley: Why is this a therapy session?! Why are we dissecting Ashley's failure to land a boyfriend?
Harrison to the other Ashley: "It was magic. Why'd you screw it up? Is this your defense mechanism?" How many times is the good ole "defense mechanism" excuse going to be thrown around. How about just calling it what it is, she's a commitment phobe that's obsessed with herself and succeeding!!!
Side note: It really bugs me how the dentist talks with her hands all up in the camera. She can't even say the word "love"
Brad: "I promised my other half that I would only be halfway excited to see all of you." -He had to have picked Chantal. She's the only one insecure and crazy enough to say something like that...
"Who is this?" Brad to "Ash 1". That's what I'm wondering. There was a semi-cute girl in there at one point. At least she got bangs to cover her forehead.
Brad about Michelle: "I'll defend you till I'm blue in the face."-I'd like to see that actually...
Henna Preschool. Cute kids, but I kinda wanted to fast forward through this montage. Good thing I didn't because I would have missed Harrison and his ball skills.
"I'm trulier happier than I've ever been." -Oh, Brad
Harrison: "Good cause you're not getting a third chance."
America: Thank God!
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