Selma gets a one-on-one, and apparently there are only 3-4
levels until you reach babies.
Seriously, watch out for this one.
One of the girls, can’t remember her name, is having a
serious breakdown over the date sitch.
Really not digging Sean’s two-tone t-shirt. They must have given Selma some date
tip since she wore workout clothes and not a cocktail dress. She mentions in the limo she’s a bad
dancer, but then wants to know if Sean can handle all 110 lbs of her heat…I
call foul because I think there’s at least 20lbs in her boobs alone.
Either she has great hair volume, or she packed a bump-it
for her ponytail. They take a plane
somewhere not very glamorous according to Sean. I guess the seats aren’t close enough because Selma is
practically lying in his lap…
The cutback between present time and her interview was
weird. “We had the limo, and then
there was the jet, and then he to the Iraqi to the desert…OMG I do not do well
in heat. At. All.” Seriously, I think she showed up to the
wrong casting call, Shahs of Sunset is right up her alley.
She’s pretty disappointed. The go for a ride in the jeep. I don’t think she’s the type to get dirty or have her
make-up run. This should be
interesting. I’ve never heard more
complaining. He tells her they’re
going rock-climbing. They change
in to the proper footwear. He asks
her what type of shoes she normally wears…6” heels. I rest my case.
Of course Sean positions himself behind her eye level with
her butt. Selma finds her inner
mountain goat and scrambles up the mountain. Sean, the big bear is having some troubles and now his pride
is on the line that the priss beat him up the cliff. They make it to the top and assume the Titanic pose to look
out over the desert at sunset.
There’s the token hawk or eagle swirling around. Dramatic music. Gag.
It’s dinnertime.
Full moon, coyotes howling.
Now they get to “sit down and enjoy each other.” Sean keeps up with the sub-par date
expectations. He says she might be
expecting a fancy dinner at a hotel or restaurant. Instead they go to a make-shift trailer park. They talk about date perfection. Why
he’s still single. She’s laying on
him and looking up at him. All
he’s thinking about is making out, she’s thinking about how her Muslim mom will
have a cow if she’s kissing someone on national television. I’m worried for all parties. It seems like she’s not going to give
up the goods on TV due to her respect for family and her culture, and I have to
give her props. However, you’re 29
years old!!!! Make your own
choices.
Date Card. Roll
with the Punches. Tierra’s pissed
she’s on another group date. Selma
the tease gets a rose. Sean says
Selma has everything he’s looking for in a woman. I know this guy is a professed Christian, so I’m going to
have to scream in to my pillow about that previous comment.
Sarah’s on her first group date. Amanda’s on her third and is a seasoned pro. Sarah’s not going to be held back by
her one ½ an arm. Some hard
core roller derby girls give them a show then say they’ll be helping teach them
the ropes. Sean says he thinks
Amanda and Tierra are going to be super aggressive. Robyn can’t even stand up, Sarah looks like she might have
broken her one usable arm…this is going to be an awesome disaster.
And now I feel terrible for Sarah and her struggles with
balance and the ability to get up quickly. AshLee fills the motherly role and convinces her of her
strengths and tells her she can do anything. Sean finally finds his way over to her to give some support.
She decides to gear back up and get out there.
Amanda’s no more than said she’s got this in the bag and the
camera rolls and she’s broken her face…everyone’s talking about how scary this
is, but she’s alert, talking…I mean I might be scared if she were
unconscious. Is that
heartless? Someone finds an
ice bag from 1990 to put her on jaw.
I mean, I really did have that ice bag in my house growing up.
Now everyone is frightened and don’t think it’s worth their
health. Sean calls off the
competition and they decide to have a slow skate instead. These outfits are scandalous. They look like Vegas cocktail
waitresses. Sarah says this was
one of the most difficult days of their life…girl, you need to live more.
Tierra wants some time with Sean but can’t take the heat of
the other girls. She has some
serious jealousy issues. I think
we have a season of potty mouths.
I don’t think I’ve heard as many bleeps in an episode.
The cocktail party is boring. The girls suggest Tierra should get in to roller derby when
she goes home. She’s not
amused. Then Amanda appears
looking bright and cheery. She
says she’s going to milk her injury for all it’s worth.
Leslie the crier gets a date. And fancy diamond earrings. Daniella the drunky is already looking flushed, and I think
Leslie’s date and earrings may send her over the edge.
Robyn leaves Tierra out of a story and Tierra flies off the
handle. She hates the girls, the
environment. She doesn’t trust
anyone. She gets up to say she’s
leaving and wants to know where Sean is…no worries, he’s just making out with Lindsay
right now…
Now she’s cursing, crying to the producer. “I can’t take it, I can’t be tortured
like this, I’m breaking down inside.”
He’s still making out with the wedding dress chick and getting in to his
skivvies. Tierra is just prowling
by the door, and interrupts when he comes out.
She’s moaning and complaining to him about it. I’m bored. Everyone is convinced Tierra is going home, and instead he
goes and gets the rose and tells her he’s crazy about her. At this point I’m extremely grossed out
by the Bachelor. He like hard core
makes out with all these girls and fills them up with false promises. Sorry Sean, you’re a sleeze.
Leslie has the big date that day. I think she’s kind of geeky at heart. She says holy moly and holy moly Batman
a lot. I’m embarrassed for
her. He takes her shopping on
Rodeo Drive. For those not from
LA, it’s not like a rodeo with steers, it’s pronounced Row-Day-O Drive. She picks out some pretty ugly
dresses. That purple one was awful
also the one that looked like drapery.
I like the dress she finally picked out, but it’s not figure-flattering
at all. Sean cleans up nice in a
tux. Next they head to Neil Lane
to complete the look. Neil is such
a cheese…She gets like a diamond plate for a necklace. 120 karats of diamonds. I’m just waiting for a ‘holy moly
Batman’ in Neil Lane…
They go to this dark mansion/hotel thing for dinner where
it’s just the 2 of them. PLEASE
STOP SAYING HOLY MOLY!!! Sean
tells her she gets to keep the earrings and she geeks out. They agree they don’t know anything
about each other. They decide to
start with relationships and going down memory lane.
They’re talking and Sean is not feeling the connection. The girls are all back at the house
analyzing how it’s going. Tierra’s
eating Doritos in sweatpants, go figure.
Sean tells Leslie he’s not feeling it and takes the necklace
and sends her on her way. I hope
she gets to change at the airport.
Sean goes to listen to Ben Taylor alone? I think this is where the rose gets dropped and shatters in
to a bunch of little pieces. Sooo
dramatic. For some reason this
date with Leslie makes him question whether or not he’ll find his wife. I’m pretty sure you have 10+ girls at
home that you ‘connect’ with often and that you describe as having ‘all the
qualities you’re looking for’.
Cocktail Party.
Robyn comes up with this really creepy way off going in for
the kiss. She has some chocolate and just keeps repeating do you want the chocolate
as a gesture to the candy or her skin tone. I was grossed out.
She’s dancing around like a little kid.
Tierra is going around flaunting her cleavage and venting to
Amanda. She feels attacked. She “apologizes” to Robyn and Jackie,
but doesn’t really want to take responsibility for anything she does. She came to win. The girls are not fooled by her; they
know she’s only playing nice because Sean likes her now. Sean thinks he has a great read on her
and that she has a good heart. I’m
thinking he needs to have his vision checked.
Catherine admits the drama with Tierra can be distracting,
but resolves to not get sucked in and to focus on Sean. She hides something up her dress that
he reaches for. An outline of her
lips in lipstick. And says she’s
been thinking about kissing him a lot.
Since they have a lot of prowling eyes, they take a walk to go mug down
in the driveway.
Roses go to: Catherine, Dez, Lindsay, Lesley, Robyn, AshLee,
Sarah, Jackie, Daniella.
Amanda with the bush of ratty hair goes home. I think you can blame your lipstick,
hair, dress and shoe choices for your rejection. Wow, disaster.
P.S., I want to learn how to fishtail braid in to a topsy
tail!!
