We are often asked why we wanted to become foster parents. Most assume that we're doing it for infertility reasons, so they're even more baffled when they learn that we haven't even explored that avenue yet. I must say, it's a bit odd to be taking birth preventive methods so that we can pursue fostering/adopting. Whenever we give a brief summary of why we're fostering, many people often find it's their time to insert themselves in to it by saying, "I could never do that." Or, "I couldn't do it because I couldn't give them back."
I'm usually pretty diplomatic about it and suppress the urge to get nasty and say, "well who really wants to give them back? And if every one had the same way of thinking, we'd have a grave problem on our hands." I know that's not a kind reply and people are just saying what they feel. I know that not every one thinks and feels like I do and I have to be empathetic.
There are many motivations at work for the why part of foster care. For starters, we have a bit of an orphan crisis in our city. Now, crisis can be defined differently depending on who you ask, but when there are 200 children that need homes and 3x that many churches in our city, to me that's a crisis. A crisis of heart and obedience. There are also hundreds of children in foster care currently (Travis Co. numbers). Families are failing and the kids need a temporary or permanent place to stay while CPS gets them resources and training on how to get back on track. Often times, when you give a child back you're a part of the redemptive work of that family and it's something to be praised. I say give loosely because you don't have any legal rights to the child in the foster system and they're not yours unless you have the chance to adopt them. But as a wise pastor once pointed out to me, no child is ever really yours. They are all God's children and can be given and taken away.
God put foster care on our hearts. When it first happened, Matt and I weren't on the same page and we decided to table it. A year later, I was reading the book Kisses From Katie, and my heart and mind were opened again to fostering. If you've never heard of this book, it's a biography of a young girl who grew up in affluent family/neighborhood of Tennessee and had everything ahead of her in life. There was just one small problem, she'd journeyed to Uganda on a mission trip and was wrecked. When she returned, the pursuits of college and the American Dream no longer had any appeal. She convinced her parents to let her go to Uganda for a year and then she would return and go to college. One year turned in to two, and so on until it became evident she couldn't come back. Her life was there with and with the 13 girls she had taken in/adopted. In my opinion, she is one of the most amazing examples of what faith, obedience and suffering look like in the most real and New Testament sense.
After reading her book, my heart was broken over my own comfortable, minimal risk life. I have never experienced true suffering other than the discipline and consequences of my own choices. I've never been really sick, had anyone especially close to me die, or wanted for much in my life. I've been immeasurably blessed. I realized that my choices and motivations in life generally centered around the pursuit of comfort and my own desires. I like the KJV of James 1:27 "Pure religion and undefiled before God and the Father is this, To visit the fatherless and widows in their affliction, and to keep himself unspotted from the world." There's an understanding in this verse that you might miss. The verb 'visit' literally means to enter in to their suffering and affliction. It means getting your hands dirty. Foster care, to me, meant to live out this verse. We had jobs, we had an extra room, extra time, why couldn't we be parents to children who so desperately needed a safe home and love? I have decided that I want my life to be more than worldly pursuits and selfish ambition. My life is a living sacrifice that I choose to give up to the orphan and in turn to The Father.
