We start this episode with a nice beach ball close up and Harrison corralling the guys in the living room.
Harrison's back to the good clothing choices, and explaining the dates. He announces they'll be packing up this week and going to Thailand because Ashley is so over LA and Bentley, oh wait, nope. Wishful thinking.
Wheels up in 2 hours
Ryan's heart is going to beat out of his chest it's bursting with so much love.
West lets us know even though bentley's gone there's still really cool guys here...not.
Ashley is double fists so excited to go to Thailand.
Finally we're in Phuket and we have a nice solo montage of Ashley walking on the beach. I think she might have borrowed Ali's clothes from last season. What the heck is she wearing. The white stripper shoes and see thru shirt? I'm guessing no one gave her travel safety tips because this is like the number one sex trafficking country in the world!!!
Annie the Thai travel coordinator is like honey you're bringing a brothel with you, how romantic. You should go to the lagoons.
They must be there for the rainy season...bummer!
Constantine gets date 1. And he chooses Adidas slide sandals to accompany his bright orange shorts and blue shirt. Of course the guide doesn't speak English but he does give great visual aids, and the boat tour is a no go. They decide to go shopping for ugly shirts? Constantine's suggestion.
Were the guys told to mention Bentley every 5 minutes, just Hayley's inner monologue here. I mean, it's not like this is week 10 and his presence was a big deal...
Constantine and Ashley make their way to a market. Of course they try to converse with locals and a young girl comes out of the woodwork to translate. Key to marriage is forgive and forget. Love is not about winning. Old wise Thai guy. He's probably wondering why these rich, dumb Americans are bothering him about advice. Buy something already.
Group date card. Let's make the world a better place. Ames is odd man out.
Back to the most boring date in history. Is it me or is there zero chemistry between these two? Apparently they're having a great time making the best of it wearing orange shorts and sweating like a beasts. No lie, those words were shared between those two...
Ashley: I feel like I have a little bit of my heart back after bentley left. Barf
We finally get to dinner. I was largely distracted by the 5 inch fossil ring taking up Ashley's entire finger/hand.
Constantine wants to ask how she's coping after Bentley left. Ashley: "You have to have strength. It's so hard." Strength is not one of the words I would think of to describe how you're handling this situation. Hot Mess on the other hand sums it up nicely.
Constantine: It's easy for me to separate the excitement of the day with the excitement of the situation. I had such a good time just doing normal things. He says like, you know what I mean, that's what I'm saying every 5 seconds
Hayley: I don't speak California surfer so no, I don't know what you mean.
Back at the house, the dudes are talking about Ashley's conquests in the makeout department. JP is getting jealous.
"Everyone's going after the same fruit" Fruit? Really?
It chaps my ass man-JP learning Ben F has kissed her. I love this. So Dumb and Dumber.
Constantine: I'm just myself now, the new me. Not being scared of getting hurt.
Ashley: You could get me back on my feet again. I love the realness of you...
Hayley: Is that supposed to be a compliment? You're not Bentley, but you'll do...
Constantine gets the rose (but no kiss) and they go hop in the ocean.
Ashley: "Hopeless Ashley is now hopeful again"
Hayley: GIVE ME A BREAK!!!!
Hey Ashley, if you're not going to think about bentley, try not talking about him every 5 secs. Just a suggestion.
Group date goes to the orphanage.
The guys think Ashley is practically Mother Theresa for bringing them to an orphanage.
And now we're privy to the annoying pest that is Ryan. The assertive sunshine man that grates all they guy's nerves..
Odessa: "We're all leaders. We don't need him telling us what to do"
Ryan runs around telling the guys to at least do a decent job...
Ben paints a cute elephant on the wall
The Bachelorette Gives Back 2.0 was a huge success.
JP is forever changed by Ashleys date..
Ashley lets the guys know that they've worked hard now they can play hard. She wants to reconnect with guys, which in lay man's terms means being carried, sitting in laps and making out.
Ben F.: "I feel like she was buzzing around me more than usual today." Yep she's that annoying mosquito. They just got baby talky and then stared making out...sick
I like the blue lights reflecting on Blake at the bar. These guys spend more time talking to each other and gossiping than they do talking to Ashley.
Ryan lets us know that he gets along well with guys, although they just bashed him .5 seconds agp
Ashley wants the "physicalness", and her and Ryan have it.
Blake, Mickey, JP tonight's rose is huge if Ryan gets it every one else is going to leave (Bold statement)
JP: "When's my next one on one?" Ashley: You're right, I owe you one because I suck.
Ashley: Kissing JP is magical. Best kisses I've had here
Ashley to JP: Can you pick me up? JP: Yeah sure, except for I just ate it
Back at the house, Ames and Constantine are having some bonding time on the couches. Ames is wearing the most ridiculous outfit ever. Are you hoping to play tennis at 11pm?
Ames: "Everything's better in the rain." Is he wearing pink lipstick? It seriously looks like it...
Peanut Gallery: "Past has proven it's based on conversation."
She's about to hand out the rose....PSYCH, Ryan steals her for "more time" Desperate move Ryan. All he says is I can't wait to spend more time with you. This guy is seriously lame.
Ben F gets the rose. It's pretty terrible how she hands out the rose. She basically makes everyone else like idiots...
Ames Date.
Ames has yet another J. Crew outfit on...safari themed. Ames makes it known he's been to Phuket several times, but alone. I feel like he's the one-upper type. He came to mountain climb, cooking school? I think he might play for the other team. Just saying.
Ames in regard to his spontaneity: "Last minute is like the best minute?" Really? He's spontaneous but still grounded?! I think he just likes to prove how much money he has.
Ames and Ash set off on their kayak tour of the mountains/lagoons that's supposed to be totally romantic.
He says the weirdest stuff. I'm just going to recap his one-liners for you...
"wow indeed."
"Love is completely uncharted territory and so is Ashley."
"t's as mysterious as it gets. The cliff barely affords the sea kayak."
"Around every corner is something beautiful just like relationships."
"I've been to 70 countries and this may be the most dramatic thing I've ever seen. I was in such awe I couldn't even talk."
Hayley: You mean you didn't already do this the last two times you were here?! Surprising...
"This is so other worldly"
"What's the most intangible quality you look for in a guy?"
I'm sorry, but this guy is such a chach. He may be really intelligent, but in the most off-putting way possible.
Ashley: "Ames is really spontaneous. Im not looking for another me."
Ames: "I hope you're not lookin for another dancer" That's at least one funny thing he said.
What the heck is she wearing to dinner?? A drape and a non existent skirt? Once again, Ali Fedotowsky is fuming somewhere. But then realizes she has Roberto and Ashley has Ames and the score is settled.
Gosh, Ames is weird.
Ashley: "You think we're both very much alike?" Ames: "I know we are." Ashley: "Why, cause we're both nerdy?" Bingo
Ashley opens up about what she'd like to do with her family someday. You know the usual, eat dinner together, travel the world...Ames basically agrees with everything she says.
Ashley says relationships are mostly based on timing. Ashley asks what he thinks about their timing.
"When you know, you know and I don't know." At least he's honest
Ashley: "What are your needs in a relationship?"
Ames: "It's something you feel and where you've been. And we've both been interesting places" What? Pretty sure she wasn't looking for open-ended philosophy here...
Ames: "I don't have a list. This is a huge evolutionary step for me." Who says that??
There's something off about his appearance. And he's awkwardly assertive...I think she's barely had a chance to get words in edge wise.
Heres how I know you're not straight Ames: "Ashley and I didn't kiss but we did something much more intimate we talked about our feelings" He gets a rose.
Rose Ceremony
Ashley's got the stripper shoes out again.
West may be another bentley in Ash's eyes. Ash wants to know if he's ready, and he pauses for a long time. But assures her he's ready to find happiness again. Ashley is insecure because she has big shoes to fill. West says there are no shoes to fill. She wore a size 8 and you wear a size 6...no worries!
Odessa hasn't dated much after his divorce. He hangs out with a liberal and conservative crowd, he's a rebel folks. He just really likes to have a good time. He's trying to fill a void--not hot to say to a girl.
Odessa: "I never give up." Except that time I got divorced.
Odessa: "But you're beautiful and awesome."
Ryan is the odd man out. Blake wants to go hash it out with him, one on one. But of course he cowers and says everyone that feels that way, not just him.
Ryan is blind sided. "I dont have problems with guys"
Ryan can't understand why they don't like his happy obnoxious self. They'd should be glad to be here when they could be in the army and not in Phuket hearing mortar shots go off...yes he made that comparison
Blake is still skirting, but finally says we think you're disingenuous
Blake thinks Ryan is like an 8 year old
Ash also has concerns about Ryan's positivity. She wants to know if his positivity is the real him.
Ryan: In a very forced, controlled manner says: "I'm just bursting with a lot of love in my chest. These guys just can't understand it, they're getting tired of it."
Hayley: For someone with so much loves, he looks like he wants to snap some necks...I'm guessing he's going to be throwing something before the season's over
It's decision time. Harrison and ash have some one on one time. Harrison opens up the "..." and lack of closure with Bentley. If this isn't setting the stage for his reappearance, I don't know what is. This show is far too predictable.
Ash wants to break the rules and only send one guy home instead of two. The Ames affect is clouding her judgment and she doesn't want to rule anyone out too quickly.
My bets on nick the trainer or Blake for being the snitch. Of course they stand Ryan and Blake by each other
Okay 0 for 2 on guessing
It's down to either Ben C or West...West is sent packing. Bummer.
West bee lines it out of there. Ashley keeps her back to him. Cold move.
West is tearey. West isn't tryin to replace anybody he just wants to move on...to the bachelor pad? Probably...
Ashley says their going to Cheng Mai, with her bear claws out...
Bentley comes back next week. I may claw my eyes out at how ridiculous this show is...
