I would first like to point out that this is the first time (I think ever) that I would be totally okay with whoever he picked. Yes, this show is a train wreck, but I actually don't despise one of the final two picks!
The Finale:
Brad takes this time to let us know how "incredible" these two women are and how "strongly" he feels for both women. He's so excited to see his family and has strategically placed himself on the balcony overlooking the ocean of South Africa awaiting his family.
Oh and what's this? Out of the wood work comes Brad's family (literally). Brad hugs his brothers first and starts to cry. Pretty sweet. But then, he like legit starts crying and has to take a breather so that he doesn't break down in to sobs. Why isn't Dr. Jaime on-call for these moments when he's actually needed?!
Brad apologizes for feeling human emotions. He lets us know that seeing family brought tears to his eyes (does he not know we have visual as well as audio??) and we catch a glimpse of Prima lookin' a little somber that he's ruined her afternoon cocktail.
His brother Chad (yes they're twins with rhyming names) asks him why this time is different. Great question from the peanut gallery.
Brad: "I'm truly in it this time." Well that's good to know. I bet DeAnna is screaming at the television at this point in time.
Chad: "Do you see yourself proposing?"
Brad: "Truly, 100% proposing." Now DeAnna is throwing things at the television.
Brad's excited to have his family around, because they 'truly' know him better than anyone on this planet. Well, Brad, I would sure hope so.
Then there's a knock, knock, knock on the door. Brad has to go meet "his woman". He goes out to meet Chantal and lets her know who she'll be meeting. His twin Chad and his wife Dillon, younger brother Wes and his wife Prima (stripper name) and mom Pam.
Channy Chan comes in for the family meet and greet and tells the age-old "I slapped him when we first met story" and tells them that she knew he was the one when she first saw him.
Chan opens up about her past to Pam and tells her that she thinks everything that's happened in her life has led her here.
Pam wants to know if she's ready for the show to be over and if she's ready for the real world. Chan answers perfectly and says this is the hard part and she's so ready for the real world. Pam and Channy exchange compliments back and forth about how wonderful each other are and I'm trying to keep my dinner from coming back up.
There's no sister in law grill session from what I can see, and Channy is sent on her way. Brad let's us know that if it all works out, he will marry Chantal. WHAT does that mean?!
The next day, the fam is sitting around waiting for round 2, and then there's a knock, knock, knock and Brad races off to go greet Emily.
Emily looks beautiful in her purple sundress. She seems a little nervous to meet the family. Brad reminds her that she's not shy, just private.
She comes in to meet everyone and Wes immediately picks up on Emily's reservedness and finds it slightly worrisome. I'm moreso worried about his lack of sunscreen from yesterday. Homeboy's lookin a little red...
They sit down to eat and the family learns about Emily and that she has a daughter. Wes being a father himself knows it would be no easy thing to see your kid move across the nation to live with another guy. He decides it's the right time to ask if Ricky's father is okay with her moving.
WHOOSH, that is the sound of all of the air being sucked out of the room, and then Brad awkwardly clears his throat because he's too far away to kick Wes in the shins. Wes looks a little dumbfounded as to why things just got awkward. Emily finally musters her courage and once again tells the heartbreaking story of her first love and Ricky's father. Prima starts crying, and Wes looks like someone just punched him in the gut.
It's safe to say that Emily has at this moment won the Womacks. Wes lets her know that if she marries Brad, it's kind of like marrying the whole family. Emily thinks that sounds wonderful.
Next Pam and Emily have some time together. Brad has some brotherly time to assess whether or not he's ready to jump in to fatherhood. Brad sounds like a broken record: "I've thought about, no doubt I've thought about it."
Pam and Emily discuss how Brad is like her angel and has brought so much good in to her life. I'm really concerned for her if Brad does not pick her...
It's time to say bye to Emily and then the Womacks have a team huddle. Brad lets us know that it's time for his family to gather around to discuss his life. Um, you're 38, can't you make your own decisions by now?!
The sisters finally pipe in with a weighted scale, you can either pick Chantal for lots of fun and excitement, or you can pick Emily and your social life dies and you get a mortgage. But Chantal doesn't really get our world with kids and housekeeping, she's more the "night out" girl. Em's the one they'd call for how to get a wine stain out of their man's shirt, or how to get your 6 year old to stop sucking their thumb (oh, wait.)
It's clear the Womacks are Team Emily. Truly. 100%. No doubt about it. Truly
It's now time for the last dates he'll have with each woman. Chan Chan shows up in some super short shorts and cleavage to her eyeballs. Brad lets us know that he wants Chantal to show him why she's the one today. No pressure.
The meet on a dock. They get on a boat out in to the open water. All seems dandy till we remember Chantal's extreme fear of open water. Oh no worries, Brad just wants you to swim with sharks, no big deal. She takes the challenge like a champ and they take the plunge. Yes, Brad does make several cheesy references as to how this is similar to their relationship. I'm bored.
Skip to their final night. Chan writes Brad a nice letter spilling it all out there along with a handy map with their travels. Brad basically pats on her the shoulder and says thanks.
Next up is his date with Emily. Emily is hoping this is her last date as a single girl. They take a helicopter out to the southern most tip of Africa. It's pretty windy and Brad seems to be in a mood. They talk about what it's like to have a five year old and Em wants to know if he's ready for all of it. Brad seems to be alone with his thoughts at this particular moment, which had to have been pretty awesome for Emily on their last date.
Skip to the evening, and Brad is on a mission. He wants Em to know how he feels, no doubt about it. He tells her he wants to be a father to Little Ricky. Em wants to know what that means to him. Burn. Considering he had no father growing up and has no children of his own, how do you answer that question?? Brad says something about unconditional love, discipline, being a friend. Em's not convinced, she wants examples. I mean, I don't blame her. She wants to know that he knows what he's in for. No more football and a beer whenever you want. Brad gets ticked. Truly. And has to walk away in search for water. He finally comes back, Emily apologizes and Brad bolts out of there like a bat out of hell.
Brad is questioning their relationship. I'm questioning. Why can't he answer these hard questions?! And why is he surprised that it's hard for a single mom to let someone in and trust them?! C'mon Brad!!
Everyone's pondering how they feel. It's the big day. Confession, I FF'ed to the rings. This was getting real boring for me. Neil Lane has to realize that his brand worth goes down with each passing failed season of the Bachelor right?! Brad picks a ring and takes a mental snapshot of what it's going to be like to place it on the lucky girls finger.
Channy picks her signature grayish/black gown with a serious up-do. The dress actually was flattering and I kinda liked it. Although there was some serious flowers/feathers springing from the shoulder. Em opts for the peachy/white rouched gown and half up-do.
They're off in the limos but WHO will it be to show up first?!
CHANTAL!
I have to admit, I did NOT see this coming. Harrison meets her to fulfill his contractual obligations and walks her down to meet Brad. Brad talks in circles about their chemistry, how she's so wonderful and expressive with her feelings...but yeah, I like Emily better.
Chantal's bubble literally bursts right then and there and Brad must walk her to the limo. Honestly, I was speechless because I was fairly certain (especially after last night) that Em was going home. Brad like a doof asks her if she's okay, um what is someone supposed to say here? Uh no, you basically told me I'm ugly and you like someone else more. No, I'm not okay. Brad secures her in to the limo and they take off down the dirt path.
I was hoping Brad might pull a Mesnick, but it's kind of creepy how easy it was for him to shake it off and prepare to see Emily. He wants to studder and stammer his way through asking her to be his wife.
Emily arrives and makes her way down to the podium. Brad says this isn't the first time she's taken his breath away and that she looks amazing. Em says thanks and that she likes his suit. Then we get to the REAL good lines:
"You're so much more than a leap of faith, you're a once in a lifetime. Please give me your forever."
I've honestly never seen a more sincere Brad. Em acts like this is the third or fourth time she's heard this in her life and it's lost it's shock appeal. She doesn't even cry at the proposal. She just says she's the happiest girl in the world. I don't know if she's had her whole face botoxed or what, but I'm just not seeing the raw emotions...
This unfortunately equals disaster. The AFTR was painful. Apparently Channy has moved on and is happy with a new guy. I think this chick falls in love every 5 minutes. Em has opted for the low lights coupled with raw venom to spit at the Bachelor. I don't have a great feeling that these two will make it and I doubt you do either.
How about getting a real couple's counselor instead of the three successful couples out of 25 seasons to spew their nonsense of relationship wisdom ABC? Em obviously has some bitterness and resentment that her boyfriend was cheating on her on a reality dating show, and Brad seems to have a temper problem. She needs to learn how to not "poke the bear" apparently.
Here's to hoping they make it at least 6 months...
